A Year After Kalem Left

Kalem drowned in the Deer Creek Resevoir one year ago today. He was only 17 years old. He was a true athlete, great example and all around good kid. He was so handsome too. I remember when we moved in the ward thinking, "Edward Cullen. He looks just like I imagine Edward Cullen would look like."

When we went to Youth Conference with the ward. I remember being confused at how he and his friends managed to repeatedly climb up and jump off the roof of the pavilion where we were eating lunch. I was also amazed at how hard he worked. At our camping spot, he decided to make a raft out of logs that he'd found. He spend hours on that thing and sure enough, the next day, he brought us down to the lake to show us his raft (which he rowed out to the middle of the lake and did a back-flip off of.) I have video footage of it somewhere. I've been wanting to see it again, and share it with his family.

His mom is a very good friend of mine who I've always looked up to and admired. She cried with me when I miscarried. I had no idea that I'd later be crying with her over her Kalem's coffin. I love their family. They lived up the street from me.  A friend of his posted the picture below on facebook and I'm so glad he did. It is of Wasatch High School's graduation this year. They presented his parents with a diploma for Kalem. They say a picture paints a thousand words. But I can't find any that can adequately describe how I feel when I see this picture
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Kalem, you are missed. There is a void in your family and this community. But I know heaven is that much stronger, now that you're there. Who knows how many hearts you've turned to God, and how many paths you've straightened, just by being you.

33-year-old Inferiory Issues

I had an epiphany this morning. A stupid one. One that I should have figured out in high school or preschool for that matter. It is embarassing for me to write this, but I'm doing it anyway. I have always had a deeply ingrained belief that many other friends and associates are better than me. I never admitted it out loud. It was more just a deeply rooted belief that I was less than. I've always known I was no better than anyone. This was a no brainer, but it's so easy to think that I'm less than. As a kid, I felt less than, because my clothes were hand-me-downs or because my house wasn't as big, or because I wasn't as pretty. Now that I'm older and have been through different things, there are other reasons why I feel inferior. I felt less organized, less social, less fit, less intelligent, less "put-together", just LESS. I know this is stupid.
I would never want anyone to feel that way around me. Why would I let myself feel that way around them?

I know everyone has their struggles, their failures, their strengths, and triumphs. Why can't I look any person in the eye with all my flaws and shortcomings and know that they have some too and that we are equals. So from me to you, from human to human, we are infinitely different, but we have so much in common. We are equals. This, I've always known, but at least now I BELIEVE it.

Do you wish you were my kid's teacher?

Please don't answer that. But I'm excited about our teacher gifts this year. We used to do a candy poster for all of them, but times they are a changin' as are teacher's tastes. This was for Mrs. Smith.

Spencer made this at Color Me Mine for Ms. Allred.

Ben was thrilled (as you can see) to give this to Mrs. Mair.

Thanks to the wonderful teachers out there who worked so hard to make a difference this year. Really. Thanks.