Imaginary Friends: Harvey, Bubble Buddy, and Squella

Have you ever seen the movie, "Harvey"? If not, it's time. I don't use the word "charming" often, but it's the only word I can think of to describe this film. At the heart of the story is Elwood P. Dowd and his unflinching devotion to his "imaginary friend," a 6 foot, 3 and 1/2 inch tall rabbit named Harvey. In the film you really come to wonder if Harvey is real.

 

A Movie Poster for "Harvey."

Elwood commissions a painting of himself and his "friend."

The reason I bring this up is because little 3-year-old Mia (as you may know from my "kids say the darndest things" column) is starting to have a few imaginary friends with hilarious names. So far, it's not a problem. She talks to them and plays with them. Today she asked for some cheese for her friend Squella. After I served enough cheese for Squella AND Mia, Mia announced that Squella doesn't like cheese and graciously offered to eat the cheese for her. It reminds me of the SpongeBob Squarepants episode, "Bubble Buddy." Where SpongeBob creates a friend out of boredom and bugs the heck out of everyone in Bikini Bottom.

 

SpongeBob and Bubble Buddy on the See-Saw.

I figure there's no harm in Mia's little "friend(s)" as long as it's just for fun and it doesn't get too weird if you know what I mean? I guess my question is, did you ever have an imaginary friend? If you did, tell me more.

I'd love some feedback on this.

Divorce?

Warning: This blogpost contains my opinion. . . take it or leave it.

 

I just had a dream that two of our neighbors were getting a divorce. These two always seem so in love, the thought of them divorcing seems rediculous. Well, it got me to thinking about divorce and what an ugly word it is. Before I go on, I have to tell you, Alfonso & I have never been happier together. He asks me almost every day if I'll marry him, I never hesitate to say yes.

 

We both have known the "dark side" of marraige, the pain and suffering that drove us to divorce others in the past. And the pain and suffering that resulted.

 

Let me tell you about my feelings of divorce. I think many people look at it as a means to an end. I think many people glamorize it as such. Phrases like: "This isnt working." make me cringe. You know what? YOU'RE NOT WORKING. The mentality of: "We should divorce. Our problems will end, our lives will be better in the long run. It'll be hard but we'll both be better for it in the long run. " is so rediculous.

 

No. No way. I can tell you divorce doesnt work that way. Divorce isn't a means to an end. . . Its only the beginning of your problems.

 

For starters, and for both parties it is undisputable financial suicide. I don't care who you are. It rips your heart, it tears your soul, it scars you parts of you, you didnt know existed. It forever haunts you. But for your kids? It does all that and more and then shatters your kids entire world & sense of security. Not a day goes by that I dont see results of divorce STILL affecting one of our three boys. If you think that divorce will end your interactions with your former spouse, you're wrong. Especially if you have children together. You will see, interact, coordinate, still agree or disagree with them on a regular basis. In some ways maybe indirectly, but daily. Co-parenting does not end with divorce.

 

I dont think that divorce should ever be considered unless is in an absolute LAST resort. Only if the marraige in jeopardy is worse than the beast I've been describing and even then, only if you have done EVERYTHING in your power to make it work. (And I mean EVERYTHING). When I got divorced I'd be frustrated when my lawyer asked repeatedly if there was ANYTHING we could do to save the marriage. I wanted to reply, "Of course not. Thats why we're here. Let's get this over with." But that sweet old man knew exactly what he was saying & I'd like to echo it. Is there anything that can still be done? To save it? Any stone unturned? Any fraction of a chance for it to survive? Any pride that can be replaced with painfully Christ-like love? If the answer is yes. Dont give up. Dont throw in the towel. YOU put the "work" into "making it work." You won't regret it.

 

You may ask, "How can she say this?"  "How can she advise to never give up, when she gave up and divorced ten years ago?" I can answer that without hesitation. I never gave up. When my past marriage failure and divorce attempts to haunt me, I can say with a clear conscience that with God's divine help, I did EVERYTHING I could.

 

And only then-with that well-earned peace of mind can I truly enjoy the new life he's given me and this second chance that I will never, NEVER take for granted.

 

Do you wish you were my kid's teacher?

Please don't answer that. But I'm excited about our teacher gifts this year. We used to do a candy poster for all of them, but times they are a changin' as are teacher's tastes. This was for Mrs. Smith.

Spencer made this at Color Me Mine for Ms. Allred.

Ben was thrilled (as you can see) to give this to Mrs. Mair.

Thanks to the wonderful teachers out there who worked so hard to make a difference this year. Really. Thanks.

A Day to Remember

On Memorial day we took some time to visit Alfonso's dad's grave. We didn't get to go last year so this year's visit meant that much more.

At the graveyard we spent a few minutes putting flowers and oragami butterflies on Alfonso's father's headstone. While we visited, Mia wandered over to "Tata's" grave and made herself at home, down on the ground. This was her first visit to his grave and it was the first time we heard her say his name.



We love and miss you, Tata.

I finally learned how to transfer pictures from my cell phone to my laptop! So I've been sending them all here for you to see. Some are old, some are new, most of them are of Mia. I guess that just proves who I spend most of my time with. Here they are, in no particular order.

Will learned how to shoot hoops last summer.

Ben's an expert surfer in Orem.

Mia and I saying "Hi" to dad at work.

Grandma Jo sent this picture to me while I was on my way to Italy and having a heart-attack without my baby. This picture made me feel so much better. Thanks Mom.

Mia and Megan had some ground time at Grandma's backyard picnic.

Tub time when Mimi was still a little stinker. I love that bum.

Carrie and Natalee also helped take care of Mia while we were on our cruise. They developed a taste for plastic carrots (thanks, Aunt D.D.)

Diaper time. Or, absence of diaper. . . time.

One on one time while the guys were gone.

Mia's first gig modeling diaper head wear.
No, she won't be embarrased at all when she sees this later.

Mia and her cousin Austin joined in at the Library's Easter Parade. They ate bunny food after (carrots).

Mia modeling the camo shoes and the sock monkey hat I found at Swiss Days 2011.

Mia loves to watch Baby Einstein Movies, and anything with Muppets. This is one of those moments when she was transfixed.

Love this girl.

I'm not a sushi lover, but I LOVE the krusty krab roll @ Hapa Grill in Park City. I was surprised that Mia liked it too.

Mia @ Arby's rockin' her sock monkey hat.

This was yesterday. We are both sick as dogs.

One of those moments when I couldn't believe Mia was mine.

Mia saying goodnight to Will.

Will helped out by holding Mia during Family Home Evening one night.

Will reading his "Green" poem at the 1st Grade Poetry Cafe

The Importance of Interruptions

Lately I've been a little on edge. Nothing sets me off faster than having 2 to three or more people talking to me at the same time. I use the term "talking" loosely, because oftentimes one of them is crying, one whining, the other rattling away aimlessly, and the other trying desperately to have a conversation with his wife. Well, a friend of mine posted this excerpt on facebook and it really struck me. I should count myself VERY very fortunate to be in a position of responsibility, to be needed.

‎"When you are exasperated by interruptions, try to remember that their very frequency may indicate the value of your life. Only people who are full of help and strength are burdened by other persons' needs. The interruptions which we chafe at are the credentials of our indispensability. The greatest condemnation that anybody could incur - and it is a danger to guard against - is to be so independent, so unhelpful, that nobody ever interrupts us, and we are left comfortably alone." -Anonymous from The Anglican Digest

Mia wearing a diaper hat. I'm learning to find beauty in chaos. What do you think?

Tiny Dancer

At our house, we LOVE to dance. And it's catching. Little Mia has been cutting a rug since before she started cutting teeth. Here is a glimpse of her latest jam with dad and Will. (Notice how she calls for Will to dance with her). I love that she's only wearing one shoe. I love that Will is so cute to dance with her. Love their choreography. I especially love at the end when she signs for more.

The Book Club

On Saturday I really needed to spend some extra time with the kids. After a game of Operation they wanted to build a fort. Fort building is a perfect example of synergism. Everyone pitches in their ideas and eventually we come up with a supersweet place to hide that would otherwise not exist. That's just what it ended up being. A supersweet place to hide. Without any input from me, the kids took books inside and enjoyed reading in the dark. They decided that everytime they went back into the fort they'd need to bring a book. Quite a stack developed. They called it "The Book CLub." I was amazed because they let Mia come in and out of the fort without a single complaint. So, welcome to the book club.

No. It really is.

Life is good. We each are changing, learning, and growing so much. Alfonso and I usually start the day reluctant to end our minute or two together. Bracing ourselves for what lies ahead, I say,"Let's go make everybody mad." Then we're off, waking up the troops, becoming everyone's FAVORITE PERSON. We have a goal to eat breakfast together and read together every morning. It is a tradition that is saving us.

Alfonso's job is great, he's such a hard worker, but he also knows how to play. Ben is almost as tall as me, he helps a lot around at home and makes us laugh. Spencer is doing well in school, I love his insights and his unwavering willingness to help (regardless of the task and no, I'm not exaggerating). Will is a little jokester, natural reader and keeps things exciting with his remarkably short fuse. Mia isn't learning many words, we are signing our way through. For a a baby learning spanish and english, I don't understand why she's speaking chinese. Her jibberish is amazing. She LOVES to dance and sing. She loves to explore. And me? I'm good too. I get to stay home with Mia, the hours we spend together are quite peaceful. She's a good napper. My inner debate is whether or not I am entitled to a nap too.

I also get to stay home with our boys. In the afternoon when they rush through the door, I go into octopus mode. This is a time to keep everything together (my patience and myself included). It's a time for homework assessment, making sure everyone is on task. It's a time for signing a form with one hand and holding a baby with the other. It's a time for "Yes you can have a snack." "No, you cannot play Wii." "Please stop freaking out." "No, I don't know what veracious means." "Why are you wearing a bowl on your head?" Thankfully I can still help them with math although the time soon cometh where their skill will far surpass mine. Somewhere in all this a meal is prepared. That is the miracle. The days that friends come to play just add to the glorious chaos. I always breathe a sigh of relief when Alfonso walks in the door. My favorite time of day (sorry kids) is when the you are all taken care of, in your beds, and I have a few minutes to myself. It takes a minute to switch gears, to take a deep breath and realize I made it. I survived another day! It also takes a minute to count my blessings including the man next to me, and say, "Hey babe, I love you." Then we close our eyes and do it all over again.
Like I said, Life is good.

A Very Big Day

Yesterday was a big day. First off, it was my brother Nick's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY NICK!) We started out with walking lessons with Mia. Then Alfonso and one of our awesome neighbors be-decked the house with lights. Ben was with his Mom. We always miss him when he's gone. Spence and Will helped with the lights a little but then spent the majority of the time reading on the roof. I love that they love to read, and they loved having permission to do so on the roof.
After the lights were in place and the place looked fantastic, we piled in the car and drove to Grandma Jo's to make a gingerbread train. We had so much fun. The final and greatest highlight of the day was Nick's birthday party. Carrie did an awsome job. She and my brother-in-law, Rob prepared some fine Japanese cuisine. It was divine. A big surprise that night, MIA STARTED WALKING!!! We were all sitting around watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, when she decided to walk from the couch to the coffee table. I freaked out. Alfonso freaked out. It seemed like everybody freaked out. It was so exciting.

Ben's Goal and Alfonso's Birthday

Ben's interest in reading has really taken off lately. It's been really exciting to watch him evolve into an avid reader. In August, Ben set a goal to read the first three Harry Potter books before the school year ends in 2012. Now, I don't know if it's because of the requirement at school to read 20 minutes a day, or if it's because our t.v. broke, or if he just thinks Harry Potter is really cool but, he's already read book one and two and yesterday, he finished book three!!! This is such a huge accomplishment for Ben. I am EXTREMELY proud of him! The moment he finished book three, he started book four. That's dedication :) Other book series' that aren't collecting any dust at our house: Fablehaven, Eragon, and Diary of a Wimpy Kid and any books by Roald Dahl.
Also the other day we celebrated Alfonso's birthday. Here he is pictured with the kiddos and his Star Wars cupcakes. What a good sport ;) Happy Birthday Alfonso!!! We are so lucky to have you in our lives!!!

First Snow's Snowman & Photos of Floortime

It snowed here on Sunday morning. The kids were excited to put on their snowgear and shovel the walks. This they did followed by a snowball fight with the new neighbors AND bringing a snowman to life. The snowman only took up all the snow in the backyard and the frontyard. Impressive. Spencer, who rolled the base piece wanted to make sure that everyone knows that Ben did not help. :)
Mia has been very mobile lately. Today I plunked down on the floor with her and took these.

Back 2 School

The kids started school! Here they are waiting for their first bus ride.



After school I figured they needed a treat. Dairy Keen, here we come!!!